Before you undertake the massive project of writing a dissertation, you should be forewarned of the strange physiological anomalies that will accompany it. Some of them are obvious and expected (loss of sleep, anxiety, depression), but others are…well… mysterious.
Fortunately, I haven’t developed anything remarkably strange (like my friend Kyle’s apotemnophiliaphobia), but here’s my own personal list of diss-related dis-ease:
1. Strange, almost overwhelming, craving for Chinese food. In particular, hot & sour soup.
2. Inability to “sleep in”… no matter what time I went to bed the night before.
3. Dreams of (in my case) Derrida. I only met the man once, but somehow my subconscious has developed a deep, personal relationship with him. In my most recent dream, we were at Six Flags, on one of those roller-coasters where you ride suspended under the tracks, and he was eating a funnel cake, which is a food that (second only to Krispy Kreme Donuts) represents “death” for diabetics like myself. (Incidentally, I’ve also had dreams in which JD and I were at Krispy Kreme.)
4. Nosebleeds. I’ve never in my entire life had a nosebleed, but in the last 8 months I’ve had three. I wasn’t in any kind of a fist-fight, and I don’t have allergies, so I really don’t understand this. And I think nosebleeds–or any bleeding from the head, for that matter–are really scary.
5. Sensitive teeth. I can no longer bite into anything cold. Espcially cold funnel cakes. Or Krispy Kreme donuts.
6. Photographic memory of texts. This is not really a bad thing, I suppose, but I find that I am now able to remember exactly where on a page a particular quote I am looking for is. It’s weird. The downside is that developing this talent has apparently diminished my ability to remember other things, like the names of my students.
There are probably other medical mysteries associated with the diss that I’ve forgotten… but, well, see #6 above.